Where are you in control – look at Your Spheres

Picture of lady sitting with laptop with background diagram of cogs in a brain.

To understand where you are in control, you need to understand one of the Basic Law of Success

The Law of Control

 which simply says:

“We feel good about ourselves to the degree to which we feel we are in control of our lives” 

In this current world situation, with no real certainty, no ‘knowable’ future, and so much anxiety,  most people do not feel they are in control of their lives. Do you feel like this?

This Law of Control requires that you appreciate that YOU alone can change how you think or feel about your situation to be far more pleasurable, but only by Taking Control!

One of the best ways of taking control is to understand your … 

Spheres of Influence

In this time of stress and uncertainty l have found this simple exercise to be immensely valuable.

Let’s do this …

1. You need to set aside some time to reflect and write. Sit somewhere quiet, undisturbed and turn off distractions ie: cell phones, TV etc.

2. With a pad of paper A4 size,  take a moment to prayerfully consider and write down a list of everything contributing to your worries,  feelings of overwhelm, anxiety and stress.

  – It could be worrying about what’s going to happen and when, how long this is all going to last, how loved ones are coping,  running out of money or food or that critical appointment that had to be cancelled but can’t be rescheduled yet? I may be how you struggling with feeling tired, guilty, frustrated or feeling Fearful or Depressed?  It may be work related issues that are piling up and weighing you down?

Then using this layout suggested ….

3. Write “My Spheres of Influence” as a heading at the top of the page and draw out the three large blocks as indicated.

4. In the block  “WITHIN MY CONTROL”Write down every worry or stress that you have complete CONTROL over, that which YOU can resolve without needing anyone else’s help or input.

I personally had to include:

  • Take control of my thoughts. Stop the runaway train!
  • Keep my focus on Trusting the Lord instead of my own understanding
  • Stay away from negative news overload
  • Do not try to work out what’s going to happen in the future
  • Live in Today – and enjoy this present moment
  • Be Thanking God constantly for every blessing, small and great, throughout the day
  • Keep my daily disciplines
  • Get up and walk every morning
  • Spend quiet time with the Lord before work
  • No junk food ‘binjing’
  • Keep up-to-date with my social media posts
  • Keep working on loading my Self-Study Online Coaching Programme
  • Prepare notes and training videos for Online Group Coaching

 5. In the block “I CAN INFLUENCE” Write down every stress that you can partly resolve or can influence the outcome through your actions or behaviour. 

 In this block I wrote down

  • All the things I could do to improve my marketing for my coaching
  • How I could connect with people, be a blessing and an encouragement to others
  • How I would interact with my family and friends also trying to cope with lockdown
  • People I could reach out to for the help I needed moving forward in my business

 6. In the block  “EVERYTHING ELSE…” Write down  everything that is completely outside your control or ability to influence , every situation or concern that there is nothing you can do or say that could directly impact this worry

In this block I wrote down

  • The immense amount of people suffering that I can do nothing to reach or help – I can only pray
  • The uncertainty of the world and the future
  • How long this lock down could last
  • The decisions leaders and governments make, or don’t make, that affect so many
  • How this lock-down will affect economies and business I need
  • What will happen to my son waiting to return to his career overseas
  • How my daughter will manage to get her business back up and running after this crisis
  • (My husband is an essential service so he is being blessed – praise God!)
  • etc

7. Once your  have written in ALL your worries, concerns and stress – even those seemingly silly issues  then  Review your Spheres of Influence.
You know my favourite coaching saying:

“Knowledge without Implementation is just useless information”

Lets take action!!

A. For those concerns that are “WITHIN MY CONTROL”

  • Identify an action, however small,  that you will do to take responsibility or be accountable for what is within your control. What practically will you do about this?

          TIP: It’s helpful to action ONE of these today – or even RIGHT NOW – to instantly feel better.

B. For those concerns that “I CAN INFLUENCE”

  • Write down the steps that you will take and exactly when you will do them – today or in the next few days.

C. And most importantly,  “EVERYTHING ELSE…”

  • Here is the Law of Control  at work – You get to choose and control how you spend your emotional and mental energy, so you can choose to focus on what is within your CONTROL and INFLUENCE.  It’s a complete waste of energy, and big stress-increaser to worry about things you can do NOTHING about!
  • Firstly, prayerfully seek the Lord. Repent for worrying! Matthew 6 v 25 – 34 tells us:  “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
  • Then, in prayer, hand over each worry and stress to the Lord.  You may want to symbolically nail them to the Cross, or lay them at His feet. You may find it helpful to write them out on a piece of paper and burn them?
  •  Spend time acknowledging to the Lord that if you can’t control or influence any of these issues, then it’s a waste of your precious energy to even think about it. Leave them with our Loving Father.
  • What else do you need to do  practically or symbolically,  to LET GO of EVERYTHING ELSE you cannot control or influence?

D.  Finally, pass this on to someone else who you know needs it! If this has been a blessing to you, as it was to me, pass on it to others, as I have passed it on to you! 

Remember this Basic Law of Success –

“The Law of Control” 

that simply says

“We feel good about ourselves to the degree to which we feel we are in control of our lives”

Take Control of your life and what is within your Spheres of Influence.
Abundant Blessings until next time
And stay safe and healthy



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